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Into The Arms of A Bad Boy

My whole life has been filled with many empty promises, hate, anger, rage and most of all complete emptiness. I began filling that with the one thing I knew would make me feel good, even if it was temporary, men. I dated a guy I had no interest in but he was an upper classman and lost my virginity to him my freshman year homecoming night. We didn't last long after that and so I focused on school and sports just as I always had before. My sophomore year I became friends with popular girls and upper class girls. Now when your popular what comes next BOYS!!!! One night during the week we had a volleyball game and here walks in this beyond sexy guy and instantly locked eyes. I was smitten from that moment I knew I had to have that bad boy for myself. To my surprise the feeling was mutual and we both pursued one another and started dating. Shortly after we started dating I was introduced to weed which I knew he smoked already. He eventually talked me into trying it and after that first few hits your flying high and numb with nothing else mattering in that moment. I remember feeling peace for the first time in that moment. Our life together quickly became smoking, sex and drinking on the weekends. He rolled with a rough crowd but I became friends with them and skipping school became normal for me. I was no longer interested in school or sports as much as smoking, boys, and leaving school. I had started jeopardizing my future and I didn't care. This relationship was real for me and with it ending breaking my heart it helped jumpstart my life down a very dangerous path. A path that would last until I was 34. One week before my 35th birthday I checked myself into detox and today I am off to rehab 8 days sober and more clearheaded than I've been in years. I'm destined for so much more than my past. Here comes my future, my self worth, my sobriety and MY LIFE AS A RECOVERING ADDICT. 

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